Terry Tate, Office Linebacker

Does anyone remember Terry Tate, Office Linebacker?

This was a hilarious ad campaign by Reebok starting during the 2003 Super Bowl, featuring a 6'4" 260 lb linebacker that romes the office all day looking for people who are breaking company policy. When he sees an infraction, he takes them out.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzToNo7A-94

If you have 4 minutes....check this out. Oddly...while I found this campaign a riot, it was one of those new ad campaigns that actually does not feature the products it's marketing in any way. Not that this is the point of my blog.....but I was always interested in why a company would pay millions of dollars to advertise during the Super Bowl without showing their product...

Anyway....

The irony of this ad campaign is that it's supposed to be a farce but it's really not. Like it's such a ridiculous concept that someone would troll the hallways of a business, looking to "bring the pain" to their coworkers. While these people might not be wearing red jerseys and shoulder pads....I found them in my placs of business way too often. They didn't actually tackle you....but the did show up in a few slightly (and I do mean slightly) more subtle formats.

The Office ________ ( I'll let you fill in the blank...this is a family blog)
This person spends all day with a 400 lb. chip on their shoulder and a 12 ft. stick shoved right up their ass. If they have a smile, it hasn't seen the light of day since 1979. They are surly at best and abusive at worst...they eat alone if at all, and you would rather stick your face into a woodchipper than have to partner with this person on a project. This person is employed for one of three reasons....they have a skill or knowledge that is critical that no other person posseses, they have a friend or relative who protects them...they have been with the organization longer than the furniture. I at least respect this person because their is no pretence that they care if you lived or died. I find comfort in that.

The Email Bully. I particularly think these people have a special place in the 7th concentric circle of Hell reserved for them.

You know this one....you send any email to this person asking a simple question. You immediately get a terse response back the length of the Dead Sea Scrolls making you look like the biggest horse's ass for asking such an inane question. But they don't just send it to you.....no.....they cc your boss and their boss. Now...this is a wiley creature. If they have a question for you....you get a phone call, usually with as much sweetness as they can muster. If you're a normal human...you're first reaction is to help them...so you do. But trust me....the email bully will strike again, and again, and again. Lose their email address as quickly as you can.

The "much sneakier" Clandestine Email Bully. See above but uses the Blind CC instead of CC, so you don't know they tossed you under the bus. This normally has to be used in conjunction with the regular email bully strategy, since if you use bcc too often, your boss will need to know why. Sometimes this person has established an alliance with your boss...so your boss actually appreicates it. Mata Hare had nothing on these scumbags.

The Public Bus Throwers. This happened to me recently. I had a person who was on a committee I chaired....this person had a higher position with the organization, but did not work in my area of expertise normally. She had an idea on something that we could do to improve our project...and it truly was a good idea. Did she call me with this idea? No. Did she email me with it? No. How about bring it up at a committee meeting? No...not that either. No...she decided to wait until we were in Senior Administrative meeting with the President of the organization. That seemed like the perfect time to bring this up.....and very loudly...and certainly not in a flattering way, and actually questioned why this had not been thought of earlier. Guess who was omitted from my Christmas card list this year....Ho Ho Ho.....ugh!

The Backstabbing Droners - This is an upgrade from the normal backstabber, who will slip the dagger ever so deeply into your back when the opportunity arises. No, this person actually spends a great deal of their day creating opporunities to do this. I know of a person who actually called 19 (at least that was my final count) people to tell the same half-truth story to make a coworker look bad. And that's 19 calls in the same day. Does that sound like a productive member of the team. I guess it depends on your definition of productive.

And then the Imperial Grand Czar Linebacker....this person actually can skillfully use any or all of these techniques, and probably has a few other ones I haven't identified yet. I've only run across two or maybe three of these people...you almost have to be in awe of their abilities and their lack of internal organs....

Unfortunately finding these people as coworkers is unavoidable, I've always had a least one person who had traits similar to one or more of these. No...you can't completely avoid them But you can look for an organization that doesn't empower the office linebackers of the world. A place that holds everyone accountable for their interactions with coworkers. They have always been my favorite places to be for 40+ hours per week.....