Sunday, February 27, 2011

Is school really that important

I had lunch with an old friend on Friday....and I have to say it was one of the most enjoyable 2 1/2 hours I've spent in a very long time. I had not seen my friend since we graduated high school together....and as kids, we were definately friends, but we were never best friends. We played a number of sports together, and hung out sometimes, but didn't necessarily travel in the same circles, particularly once we got to high school.

In fact, that was one of the two things that always impressed me about my friend. He didn't seem to need a specific circle or clique, because he was always very comfortable in his own skin. Even when we were 10 or 11, he knew who he was, and was really happy about it. The other thing that I remember about him was that he was always a pretty positive guy, and that I didn't know anyone who didn't like him. People might not have known him well....but unlike most people I knew in high school...just about everyone thought he was a good guy.

Also...this guy had the coolest parents ever. They divorced while we were kids, but they both always had his best interests at heart. They also didn't freak out at every little thing. I remember that as a teenager he had gotten busted for doing a wippet (inhaling a cartrdge of NO2 which gives you a kinda cool 60 second high). When his Mom was called, she said, "Kids are going to try things, and looking at it, this seems like a good choice. (that's about how I remember it anyway)" My Mom would have literlly beaten me with a belt..... I was glad to hear that they are both doing well.....

These things are important as I considered who he became 26 years later. He is successful...not Bill Gates, Steve Jobs successful, but he has been involed with a number of different business ventures, and they all seemed to do well. His current business is fantastic as it takes an important corporate need and boils it down to it's simplist form. If I was a CEO....I would hire his company yesterday, and I'm not just saying that because he paid for lunch. I have no doubt that this start-up will be a complete home run, and he will retire by his 50th birthday allowing his money to work for him. I know this to be true, because another point he made very clear was that making tens of millions of dollars was not his goal, it was to be successful enough to spend his life doing the things he enjoys. I find that to be a refreshingly perfect goal.

Ok...why am I writing all of this stuff. One thing I remember clearly was that my friend was an incredibly average student....or possibly a little below average. When I was in 4th grade, that meant to me that he was not a bright guy, especially since school came very easily to me. In fact, when the gifted program was first installed into our elementary school....he tested into that class with me and 12 other kids. At the time, it was almost like that song..."One of these things, is not like the others..." as everyone else in the class was in the top reading and math groups and got straight "A's", while he was not. But, he had the traits I mentioned earlier....he was a well-liked, positive, person with a tremenedous amount of confidence in who he was. He was never a good achiever in school, but when we'd talk I never thought he was less smart that I was. And...I don't think I had mentioned that while he was not great at school, he was in fact, very good at many other things....and exceptional at one sport in partcular.

So...all of this lends the question to me...how important is school in the grand scheme of things. I mean, for some people who are obvious academics, it's everything. I graduated high school with a guy named Chris Higgins. Nice guy, good wrestler, very smart, but not out of my league or many others in my class, but he was wired to live in that world. If you had asked me at 14, who was going to be a college professor, I would have said, Chris. And the last time I checked, he was.

But for my friend, his lack of success in school has not impacted him negatively one iota. If I named 5 traits he exhibits everyday that defines him as a person and in his professional life, success in school wouldn't even be in the conversation. Far more important is his ability to network and cultivate positive relationships. Strength in thinking outside the box and using creativity to achieve his goals. Setting achievable but challenging goals. Having the confidence to take calculated risks. And my favorite, having his life priorities in order. One of my favorite stories from our lunch (and there were more than a few) was when he ended a long time relationship, his top priority was acquiring custody of their dog. Now...the dog was brought into the relationship by her, but he had fallen in love with the dog, so he made that his #1 goal during the breakup, so much so that he took a significant financial hit to make it happen. And the punchline at the end of the story was, best move I ever made bacause I knew I needed the love and companionship of my dog to help me through this....and it did. You don't learn that in school.

So...as I'm hammering away on my little 8 year old on doing her homework, achieving academic excellence, and expanding her knowledge of everything...maybe I should kick back and spend more time instilling these other qualities in her. She'd probably be better served in the long run.

And...if you happen to be reading this....Thanks again for lunch!